i have nothing

i have nothing to live for

no work that shows my worth
no heart that holds my soul

i have nothing to live for

when you died, my soul conspired to follow after you
when you moved, i longed for you
when you walked away, i had nothing to gain
and only memories that sustained...
but now even those run amuck in my brain.

now im diseased and broken...cracked and disfigured
a mere shadow of who i once was

i have nothing...
you died..
you left..
you walked away...

all those that mean something...are gone.

im alone...

and even though im supposed live for myself...
whats a life "by myself"...
i have nothing to win and nothing to gain
and even less to lose.


trust me when i say there's nothing to pity.
i love you...
but that means nothing because
i have nothing.

a feeling with no name

a feeling with no name
yes i know that sounds insane
to have a feeling with no name
it sounds sorta mundane
possibly inane
but truth be told ive been on this train quite some way
and i have yet to find a way to stay afloat.
its like im lost in emotions.
covered up in devotion.
trying to find a way out
but everytime i do i get knocked back
into this nameless shame.
what do you call this.
i mean- it doesnt have a name.
i mean- im sitting here in pain. feeling all kinds of insane.
wanting to let go anyway i can.
and yet here i stand. caught up.
in this nameless emotion that causes more than one emotion.
i mean- if it causes more than one emotion then it should have a name.
something that has a lil rang...
i mean- im sitting here crying, sighing, dying and all awhile still surviving.
wtf?
wtf is this...
its like it insists on being here.
not going nowhere.
its got fists like frazier
knockin left and right.
hahah wishin i was out of sight
wtf.
im overwhelmed
understimulated
and fiending for love. her love.
and instead im drowning. in this nameless emotion.
its causin all types of emotions. so many that if you put them all together...
its this nameless emotion.
at night i cant sleep, i gotta beat 5 or 6 times just to fall asleep.
during the day...it feels like thunder and i cant see past the rain.
i eat when i wanna wheep.
i sigh 4 or 5x when i feel like im gonna die.
thoughts of suicide...they run right by.
i look at them thoughtfully thinking cautiously..."not a good idea"
i have so much to look forward to. my baby. my life. my fortitude.
yet. when i think about the juxtaposed positions in which i lie.
i feel discombobulated and literally wanna die.
but i cant.
thoughts of death make love a myth.
its like it never happened and this is all a dream.
a nightmare.
and i feel like im a part of this horrible scheme and i cant get out.
i love you. i want you. i need you to survive.
and yet when i turn to you for thoughts of comfort and love.
i feel dry. i feel invisible. i feel embarrassed...its almost metaphysical.
these feelings that have conjured up this nameless emotion.
i give them props for their devout devotion.
because they are persistent and i just wish that they would be distant.
leave me a lone. these feelings with no name. got me feeling all ashamed.
running amuck in my mind with no luck. im sitting here like a dead duck.
filet mignon. its like 50 bucks. shit. i wish i could just suck- fuck. i cant even do that. shit. there goes that feeling with no name.
embarrassing.
shit.
what a shame.
this bitch is lame. got me caught up in her lane. wanting to be on her level. not eye level but surpass...shes like heaven on earth...i feel like im the only one that knows her worth..its almost like im being punished for knowing her price. priceless. cause shes a prize. one that cant be won. shoot. id die if she had my son. she's the kinda dime that you multiply times 2 and add nickel cause she 25.
i wish i could explain the way i feel when i hear her smile.
yes. smile. i hear hers. thats how powerful it is. she blows my mind like a ludwig melody..and yet when i sit here typing this...it feels something like a felony. like loving you this much is against the law. like these emotions cant coexist. you see...she was mine...and now its not the same.
this prized posession that once belonged to me. now has open availability.
and when i think about someone being inside...i wanna cry...even die...but its more than just that. its like. a feeling. you know...one without a name.
shes amazing. she makes me crazy.
shit. im sitting here craving...
wanting this chick...like she on my dick...shit...if i had one. lol
i mean i could sit here and explain how she outta this universe
yet there aint even a verse to cohabitat in a sentence with her name that could explain the way she is, the way she is.
she's a bad bitch.
the kind i only give the best brains.
but when i think of her. i want to let it all go.
everything.
theres no point without her.
yet i go on.
feeling like this.
feeling all of this.
this feeling with no name.
And one day it will all go away.
but until then...ill just sit here..and reminisce..
thinkin about all the BLISS we coulda, shoulda, HAD.
cause dam together...we was BAD.
but nope.
i cant put into existence what god wont let be.
so ill just be here and feel this nameless disease.
and as i do...ill blow a kiss or two...to the one that i cant have.
the one that will always bring my love anew...
and though one day the pain will subside...
ill never live or ride for a girl like this...
ill never forget how her love caused me to feel like this...
the one that caused this feeling with no name...
i love you...and dont you forget...

The little surprises.

It's so interesting the little surprises that life throws upon us, in this sinking wastebasket that will eventually get too stuffed to handle and be thrown aside. Taking the trash out. I know that made no sense.

I'm so angry. Like. When I say anger doesn't even begin to describe the way I feel right now. when I say I hate her. Like, I don't want to hear her scratchy sexy voice. The one that falters me. The thought of who she is to me...makes me cry. I am crying. She makes me cry. More than I've ever cried. I'm listening to "H.A.T.E.U" cause she mentioned it. I hate this song but it's real. It's us.

I hate my life. Like I hear people everyday say, "FML" but when I say my situation is a "FME"- fucc my existence...it is.

You know, I'm single. I don't have time for a relationship. I can't even let go of her. I wish I could. But I can't. "HATE U" by Miss Carey says it all...but the fact that she mentioned it. Brought it to my attention. Made me realize she feels this way. I hate that she's right. I'm tired of crying. I want to move on but I've got too much going on to try and look for another to distract me from her. The love of my life. The love of my little to no existence. My 23 years.

I'm listening to music. Listening to the rain pitter patter. It never fails me. It's so soothing. It elevates me. To a place. ABOVE THE GREY CLOUDS.

So. I broke into her account tonight. Kinda random I know. But I wasn't expecting to see anything. I mean, lol, she misses me, right? Loves me, right? Only wants me, Right? Wrong. Her "other lost love" ..who shall be named ..nameless...was there. She hit her up. She hit up Nameless and told her misses her?! And that she's drunk and shouldn't be doing this. Then her Twit says shes got a lot on her mind. Like. WTF. I got so mad. Wish I could hit up my lost love, named Nameless and tell her that shit. I wish I would, she would be mad. She's such a bold broad. At the end of the day we're not together. Shit. We never were officially together-PUBLICLY. PUBLICLY she's been single. The whole year...She was single. When I bought her a $700 airplane ticket to arizona last minute...She was single. When I bought her the purses I bought and my mom jacked them- She was single. When I bought her, her christmas/birthday present She/iii were/are single. She's the reason my mom would crazy on me, because how dare I spend that much on a xmas/bday present for a girl who isn't even my girl. How dare I...THINK of half the things I think when it comes to her. The things I thought. The ring I woulda bought. The house we woulda made. This child that we coulda changed. Together. Shit... Shit, I don't think she ever could allow herself to be "official" with me. Considering the situations regarding her and I...I don't blame her. I don't think I could do it either. I think as time goes on, I will start to dislike her and hopefully move on.

My life is all messed up. Like on a completely different level unknown to any other normal human beings. You know the ones that get flat tires or even foreclosed houses. Not the ones with cancer and polymyositis and seizures and the inability to change my own destiny. I have come to the conclusion have the inability to change the things I see wrong in my life. It sucks.

EPAR. EPAR. EPAR. EPAR. Spell it right. It'll show you the light.
Well the light to the truth. I don't see light anymore. Just darkness. I mean once upon a time there was a light at the far end of the tunnel but the light is now long gone and the tunnel just keeps, keepin on. Coke Bottles. Spoons. Plastic Knives. Long necked Corona bottles. Spatula handle and I think part of a travel size tooth brush kit. Don't hold me to that last one. All of these? We've encountered what you might call...a violent intimacy. A violent intimate encounter. One that will remain on on my mind...for a very long time. When I say no one knows my pain. Nor can experience it. When I say the rage that races thru my body with just the membrance of the pain is enough to change...a lot of things. When I say I talk to my mom and I hate I can't tell her..it hurts. When I say when I talk to my JohnJohn all I feel is embarrassment because he knows. When I say I talk to Aya and all I feel is nothing. It's like I know she wants to act like it didnt happen but it did. It's like the more she acts like it didn't happen the more I remember it did and the more I remember it did the more I remember what happened and the more I remember what happened the more I fall out crying and the more I fall out crying the more I realize the pain and anguish I feel. But it's like when Aya mentions it, I just want to die from shame and embarrassment. She can't win for losing. No one can. I'm a loose screw's loose screw. I have no stable foundation to be used...to screw. I hate that when I talk to Angel she likes to get buck. I love Angel. Its sad to say that me and her are close..but everyday I envy the child she carries. My daughter. My BabyAya. She's my baby. My new "forever lady". Like can I just say 4 months ago I saw wedding bells now I just see bells...bells for a tricycle or bike..in the future. That 4 months ago I saw 2 women in my life. My wife and my child. My perfect family. Now it's just me and my child. What a family. When I say I never planned on being a single parent..like when I say...lol..I know Aya didnt want babies or kids but I thought...hmmmm...she loves me...and shes going to love my baby more. I just knew she would. She would have too. We would have had another too. Just so I could see her glow..with a growing being inside her beautiful belly. So I could make love to the love of my life and the 3rd love of my life as well. The one she would nurse and grow. My seed and hers. Becoming one. Forming a little one. These things, I thought. These things I never put to word. I never manifested to speech because I felt there was no need. Not me. Not Dash. The one who gets whatever she wants. The one who is infallible to bad luck. Well Good luck met it's match this year. "Good Luck, meet Bad Luck. You two have a lot in common. You both contact luck but the luck's you own are quite the opposite..."

I make no sense. But would any crazy girl at 4 am make any sense? No.

I am going to move on to a woman. A stronger woman. A woman who makes Aya look weak. and Aya is the strongest woman I know next to my mother. So the next woman will be something of an unrealistic metaphor who will just reside in my head. But I will meet my special lady. She will love me like the mostest. She will make me be the boastest. She'll make my current love look weak and my past loves- appalled.

Life is a story and I'm just culminating it's chapter. I need a few peer editors to assist with any grammatical errors because these chapters are thick and the type of editing needed after each one requires more than one person.

I wish I could understand the finality of life. I wish I could bear my own finality. I wish I just was not sooo unhappy. With all the bad things in my life I really just pray for a good thing at least once a day. So far, I'm just lucky if I get a good thing in a week.

Little surprises are life's surprises. I hate surprises. I hate life.

It's been four months...

some kinda way.

that's how i feel.


its the kinda way that has no name.

its just that way.

its the feeling i have at the pit of my stomach.

the rush of emotion with no pit to fall in

the way i pipe up when i think of her...

or the way i pipe down when i think of all...
all the things we've been through.


some kinda way.

that's how i feel.



is love like this...?

does it constantly blind you from the idea of "love lost"?

i completely forgot what being without love feels like.

im constantly crowded with new feelings and desires.

its like love makes you forget that you could possibly partake in heartbreak.

its like your heart becomes alien to the idea of "troubled pain"

love gives us no option.

and when i think of options..i think of choices.

and love doesn't come with choices.

you just love who you love and the rest falls into place.

but yet...


im feeling some kinda way.

will this go away?

grumpy

dont you hate being sicc.
dealing with the weird, annoying symptoms that come along with bein this way?
sneezing, coughing, runny nose syndrome.
its rather peculiar.


:)


see. im grumpy.

let pride season begin

its begun..
let the gays reveal themselves...puuuhlease =)

lol jk.

my stomach hurts.

i hate school.

now onto some poetic thoughts..






i feel dead.

i am not alive..so is this death?
the infinite infamous struggle that comes after life?

my life lost.
my soul found in another dimension
far from its physical form.
here.

is life and death all we got?
can we converge the to and make heaven and hell meeting creating a paradise in which all of humanity can live together and conform to both ways of both worlds?

or are we doomed to decide. to discover life is really just fucced up. and no one has it perfect. and the ones that say they do? are the most fucced up individuals of us.

do you ever sit and wonder? thoughtlessly about the importance of success? or life death we only wish the life of success but know we will never be able to accomplish....nevermind i cant finish this.

im done.

sometimes.

fruit for thought..

sometimes we have to get away to see.
sometimes we have to give up to fight.
sometimes we have to stop to think.


sometimes.
just sometimes.
its not often.
if it were?
then sometimes would be irrelevant.

irrelevant like a stomach feeling empty after eating the best steak ever.
irrelevant like a reluctant hearts refusal to let go when truth be told? it already has.
irrelevant like the idea of jumping off a cliff when you have so much in life to live for.

irrelevant.
sometimes.
not often.
if we always thought relevance, there would be no room for irrelevance.
and we need its medium.
to balance a life less spoken.

so.
i give up to fight.
i give you all of my heart because you already have 99% of it.
i will overlook what you call your irrelevance and look at the revelance you bring to my life.
i defy defiance.
everyFUCCINday.

on to what im really trying to say:

i love the way your voice is softer in the morning. this soothing open tone. almost as if your arms are wide open. open enough for me to run up on you and hug you so tight our bodies get uplifted off the ground. we fly. so high. stucc. in this hug. just because of a soothing tone.

i love the way you say "i love you so much." its way more relevant now to the pounding of my heart than to just say "i love you." i love you has no meaning to me now. at least not the same meaning as it once did. i remember when it did. i remember the day you first told me. i could tell you the exact time. what i was was doing. what you were doing. who i was with. and who you were with (your mother in case you're curious - of course she was not in earshot). we were fighting. my hearts beat slowed to a stop for 2.5 seconds - 2.5 seconds i wont forget and though that moment will remain in my memories..its when you say "i love you so much" that now holds a stand still because it not only takes my breath away with a smile but stops my heart completely.

i love the way we commit without commitment. we walk the contradiction line everyday with huge smiles and big fucc you grins. we have enough stresses. why linger on unspoken anomalies when we can just be blessed with one another.

i love the way you're slowly coming around to loving me the way i want you to love me. :) yes im a selfish mothafucca. im a cocky mothafucca too. stating if i recall in the beginning how i get what i want? lol ha funny of me to say something like that. those words burned the throat that spoke them the moment spoken. i regretted that sentence in its entirety. how dare i propose to get something i want when what i want isnt ever really sure of what it wants when it comes to relationships? but. for some reason? i just seem to love you more with your hesitance.

i love how no matter what im doing? whether in class, eating dinner, with family, driving, listening to music? you're never too far from my thoughts. actually. lets be honest here. you are in my thoughts. during each and every one of those moments. always a part of a single thought. who knew? :)

i love how im selfish and you're selfish. but we're both in denial about your selfishness but well aware of mine. :)

i love how you love me when i have crazy moments. or. maybe its because i love you when you have yours. even though yours aren't really all that crazy as they are sexy. hmm i wonder if we should just call you crazy sexy cool. i mean you arent TLC but you sure rocc it better than them.

i love how i could go on and on and on about nothing no one gets but you get all of this and i know you do and i smile because at the end of the day thats how i like it.

and i love how when i finish this blog..ill smile to myself because i know your comment will be a wack smile, a short comment, or something bland because you never give too much away. and even though it annoys the shit out of me? i guess i wouldnt have it any other way. we're a balance. i talk, you listen. you talk, i listen. you rant. i rave. you walk. i drive. you frown. i smile. you pout. i kiss your lips. you get me. i get you. and for this? for allll of this? i fuccin smile to myself.

the end.

hard

i keep listening to beyonce's "disappear" like a punk and crying.
i cant stop crying. i want to stop crying. it was easier to sleep knowing she was there.
now sleeping..is hard. i say that like its already been days. it feels like days have already passed and knowing that things wont change anytime soon? my chest starts to feel heavy and more tears roll down my cheek
::wipes them off::
im pathetic right? im so pathetic.
to let love rule over my physical too. its bad enough the emotions that i have to deal with.
why do i feel so alone? when im not.
((and yes its hard to type with one hand))
fyi everyone. i broke my arm. its a struggle. and just adds on to all the extra blahh i have in my life.



i cant even finish this shit.
just shoot me.















ps:
i love you and miss you.

i cant stand her..

i cant stand her.
translation...
i love her ass
translation...
i love her beautiful ass
translation...
shes amazing
translation
::imSMiLiNG::

realization

its like. when you think about it.
time is of the essence.
time is important.
we all take advantage of it.
do we ever stop. wonder. think. about time?
does it ever end?
does it time out?
will we know?
do we get some type of fuccin notification signifying "times up!!"?

shrugs.

food for thought i suppose.
sigh.

i just...

miss the way it used to be.
shit never stays the same.
it just change.
you win some. you lose some.

shrugs.

bad case of the ME

yep.
thats what she has.
shes breaking out in hives.
friends warn her to be weary.
she explains they're just spots of love.
friends warn tell her run to the nearest er
shes says her love is heavily medicated
friends warn her shes wasting her time
she says itll get better in time. i have faith. just stand in line.
they shake heads.
such a shocking scene to witness. disbelief ensues.

ths is what we call A BAD CASE OF THE ME.

i think she needs a prescription filled asap.

the weekend is slowly coming to an end...

just got back in from seeing NOTORIOUS and i honestly have to say i like it. almost loved it but not quite.
but i did love the sex scene with biggie and lil kim. call me crazy or lazy ;) ...probably crazy, im far from lazy, anyway, i love a woman riding and she was riding. it was sexy. i got turned the fucc on. lmao. my baby knowws. shit.
anyway. yea that was my favorite scene. i also feel like the lil kim character is way prettier than the REAL one. smh. id fucc the lil kim in the movie...psh. those brooklyn girls ;) well i only have one. lol. and i love my baby. yup yup.

anyway now im chilling. preparing for the upcoming semester. im still in ny. have yet to book a flight. did i mention its snowwinnng it here? psh. ok. well it is.

so since friday morning ive been in that "state of mind" and i havent been in that state of mind for two years but i was feeling like doing it. thats how i fix my issues. my scars. but ive resisted. and its hard. and whenever im close to crying i want to also. id rather cry from physical pain not physical AND emotional pain.

and my non-committal baby mentioned "marriage" earlier. rotflmao. i think i choked on my own saliva. psh. id never marry her wack ass. psh. marry her ballin. divorce her broke. lol. shes a smart chick. take me for all i got in the divorce. psh. probably get tips from my mom and millz mom lmao. i just cant rotflmao im laughin really hard right nowww lol ;) (((loveeee u babbbbyyy)))

anyway this week? i have no plans. im supposed to be doing cafe with iman but who knows what'll happen. i think i just need to focus on school and this move happening in a few months. ill be staying at the exclusive "oneseventh". yea trust me thats what i said. "oneseventh"? but me and m godfather got into an argument because my friend lena stopped by and i gave her the code like she literally text me and was a block away so i told her to come up and my godpops..was like "do u know where u areee? this is the "oneseventh" lmaoo i just laughed at the nigga but googled it asap. lmao. i dont get it either. lol. i dunno if i wanna live here.

anyway im just tired of my life. i dont know how to make it better. i know im not a horrible person. we all mess up, fall short, fucc up, its being human so why do i feel extra penalized?

like how i think of thurs? it was all a dream. a delusion in my head. its either that or face reality and cut something, whether a wrist or a thigh. there will be blood. so i stay delusional.

god. that was frank.

anyway its 12:20 am. im tired. going to lay down.

i hope everyones week is the shit.

mister seize the day? or just seize it all...

t hit my body like lightening.
one minute im cursing for the ignorance driving me
the next ive lost all control.
seizing.
shaking.
gripping
scratching
tears fall down my face
he looks. he stops. he stares.
my knight? right.
but...what do you do..
when supposed good help goes bad? WHAT DO YOU DO?
oh. you're asking what i did?
i stopped breathing.
saw my world crash. burn. around me.
i felt obliterated. violated. humiliated.
you took control of me like i was nothing but a ragdoll.
using vulnerability to your advantage.
i watched. i stared. into those beady eyes. that face. ha. now i cant even remember what that face looked like.
i struggled. my body no longer in control. my body seized. yea thats it. it seized..
you didnt call for help.
or get on top of the situation to be a hero.
you just got on top of the situation.
im seizing. you're heaving.
i cant breathe.
your sweat drowning my face
my air circulation cut off.
is this some type of neuro psychosis.
psh.
better yet. is that a word?
oh. it aint?
well it is one now.
i laid there. unconscious. the perp finished.
dazed and confused. i laid there.
not in a car. a vehicle for my sanction.
but on the side of the road. discarded.
cold.
freezing.
dead.
my life went with....
taking my joy.
taking the little sanity i had left.
mental fuck.
physical fuck.
life is a big fuck.
cant trust nobody but ourselves and even then ...

im....caught up...

ok ok ok
correction.
im falling.
i told myself i wouldnt.
truth be told i am.
ugh.
its frustrating.

you know.
its funny...
when i think of iman..
i miss her i do but i wasnt in love with her.
no didnt i fall for her.
it was infatuation, maybe?
who knows.
i just know that i still love the kid i do but
i made empty promises i wish i hadnt made.
its not that i didnt mean them at the time..because god knows they werent empty
but all the while i was with her i didnt feel like how i feel right now. ever.

right now. being with, my baby.
:)

yep. shes my baby.
in her drunken "stupor" the other night she said something about us not "breaking up" i just rme. break up?! lol i cant deny it. that shit made me cheese like chuckie.

nyc is a mess.
snow galore.
the big apple is rotten. worm intow.


ill be back home within the week.
hopefully.
my baby be havin me caught up.
next thing you know imma be trying to stay till february
and then we all know im going to the anita concert and then ill try to make that as an excuse for the reason im still here :)

anyway just felt like blogging.
havent done it in a second.


=p

shes my panamasian ninja [diva on the low]

no seriously. she is.
she's so....well...look...


i know. i jus wanna hump her eyes. shes so fuccin sexy. ugh .its ridiculous.
shes panamanian for those of you who dont know what that is? look it up.
but doesn she look like shes mixed with something else.

today.

im sooo lovey today.
sooooooooooo lovey.
i just wanna kiss u.
love on u. hug on u.
be up on u. make u
get up on me. then
make u frustrated
cause im up on u &
then bacc off & then
go at it again.
i love u. so so so so
much.
what u do to me?
ugh. i just cant deny it.
shit.

i just wanna fuccin kissssss u. ahoraaaaa. i want u.


________________

lovey moment over.
today will be a good day.
which makes me happy.
im in love with good days.
im in love with good food. lol
im in love with good people.
im in love with good hearts.
im in love with g-o-d.
and im in love with my beautiful family.
hear hear to being in love with everything.

____________________

random thoughts:
when does puppy love grow up?
when do you realize you're experiencing mature love?
is everyone fearful of love in sense?
is me telling u i love u in vain if in 6 months we dont work out?
is me telling u i love u now redundant if in 6 months this is just a 1/6 of what my love will evolve to?
is me tellin u i want u so bad i cant sleep i cant eat i cant think without thinkin of u redundant if in 6 months we're thru and i really cant do any of those things?

_______________________

do we as a people take mainstream media love too deeply? like is it wrong of me to say i wanna relationship like jay-z & b when in reality i dont really know the type of relationship those two really have? i only know what the media presents. should i say i want a relationship like my parents (((borringgg lol)) because at least then i know what it is? but then again..do i really? i mean..we really only see what anyone ever shows us? so shouldnt we all just say that we want a good relationship. nothing to be copied by anyone just a good ol fashioned relationship with ups, downs, in betweens but lots of love, understandin and patience. because at the end of the day a real relationship in my opinion works because both lovers are willing to withstand adversity, indifferences together and stay united as a front and love harder because of the bs. ...who knows.

let me know ur thoughts.

pz

jan 21, 2009

we talked today. its on. cafe @ starbucks ala great conversation and full of smiles.

today was cool. i dont really wanna talk about it and theres nothing necessarily pressing that would prevent me from talking about it, i just dont wanna.

im getting ready right now to hit up my boi's performance at mSr. atl represent. lol harlem rep harder.

going with the crew. stupidface,yanicunt,gwenstefaniwho and ya boi. yours truly. only one missin is my misses. aka my sexy baby. my loveaholic. my love. the one whos taken over my hearts posessions and filled them with love and more love. but shhhh its secret. ;)

pz.

i'm not the one

I'm a Taurus.
I love hard and hate harder.

take my name out ya mothafuccin mouth. me and an ex got into an unwanted / unneeded argument because people wanna run back and tell her shit. wtf. keep my name out ya mouth and ya nose out my business.

period.

you got me (addicted) by slim

explanatory:

Have you ever wanted something so bad
( You just gotta have it)
Even though you not suppose to
( You just gotta have it)
Now Everybody in the world
( Has some type of habit)
That'll take you, and'll turn you in some type of an addict
Now let me tell you bout this situation I'm in
I'll probably have to go to rehab this time
It Gets me higher then anything your thinking of
(Like the first time I've feel in love)I feel in love

{Chorus}
I Never would have thought that I would be a fiend
But it's way to strong (Just way to strong)
You Never know you miss it until you look around and see it's all gone
And it keeps calling me, calling me, calling me
After one time I just can't quit
You got me hook so I must admit ( you got me so)
You got me (addicted), so (addicted), so ( addicted)
No matter how I try I still can't resist (still can't resist babe)
Now I understand why I feel like this you got me (addicted), so (addicted), so ( addicted), so (addicted)

Verse 2
I can't stop thinking got my head going round and round
ooh late nights searching everywhere ( all over town)
They tell me theres more to life ( Just let it go)
[ Slim Lyrics are found on www.songlyrics.com ]
But I tell them if feels like this all I'm living for
ooh what am I to do ( So hard for me to change)
Life without it now, (it will never be the same)
Gets me higher then anything your thinking of
(Like the first time I've feel in love)I feel in love

{Chorus}
Never would have thought that I would be a fiend
But it's way to strong (Just way to strong)
Never know you miss it until you look around and see it's all gone
And it keeps calling me, calling me, calling me
After one time I just can't quit
You got me hook so I must admit ( you got me so)
You got me (addicted), so (addicted), so ( addicted)
No matter how I try I still can't resist (still can't resist babe)
Now I understand why I feel like this you got me (addicted), so (addicted), so ( addicted), so (addicted)

I'm so Addicted
After one time I just can't quit ( One time I just can't quit)
You got me hook so I must admit ( you got me so)
You got me (addicted),[ Everday and everynight I can't sleep I can't eat] so (addicted), so ( addicted)
No matter how I try I still can't resist (I tried to walk away)
Now I understand why I feel like this ( Night and day) you got me (addicted), [ You got me so, you got me so] so (addicted), so ( addicted), so (addicted)

You got me so
You got me so